Ryan: Always Love

Your are my phoenix. Someone so special, and amazing many believe to be a creature of myth. You fought the battle, the fires of cancer and rose above them to be reborn. I know you’re at peace. The empty spot I feel in my heart oddly comforts me. It assures me you have a part of me with you. It confirms that those you love never, ever leave you. Friendship goes beyond space—beyond time, this life unto the next.

I am thankful to your parents, how lucky they are to be responsible for creating such an amazing human being. I am so thank for the privilege of knowing you, and the honor of calling you my friend. Thank you for making me smile when all I wanted to do was cry. Thank you for the comfort of your understanding, your patience and your grace. Thank you for your one of a kind laugh. For your humor, kindness, intelligence, creativity, and compassion–& for always putting those you love first. For worrying about those you care about more than you care about yourself. Thank you for being impulsive, frustrating, complicated, and childish. You are the personification of the strength and love that is capable in the human spirit,

Thank you for reminding me there is always hope. Thank you for teaching me that instead of letting your tragedies defeat you, to let them define you. To let them give me strength to carry on each day. To let all that you have seen in life, both and good and bad define you, to build strength and character.

You were always my missing puzzle piece; the connection that made life makes sense. In your absence, I will use all the love and light you have given me to fill that empty space with thoughts of you. I remember the countless number of times we discussed how opportune it would be to travel back into the past & let the word cancer never mar our lives. I know now, exploring the past, the what ifs will only leave you with questions that are not meant to be answered. Everything in life has a purpose. There is no point in worrying about righting every wrong, reshaping the past, these things that happen to us our ultimately part of our destiny. Your destiny was fulfilled. You wanted to change the world, you did my friend. It’s not how long you live—but how you live.

Ryan’s life is linked to many things that never came into play. He never got the chance to graduate college. He never got the chance to see his dreams come true. He never got the chance to get married, have kids, or meet his first grandchild. But, look at we he did do? His love & light changed all who knew him. That is better than any degree or any bond of marriage. That is what life is about, & he accomplished that at twenty-one.

All his loved ones have the power and ability will make his dreams come true through their actions. That’s what true love and true friendship is. It goes beyond space and time. It extends from this life to continue on in the next. Even in a persons absence you still rise up and become better because of them. Ryan is forever my inspiration. Even without seeing his smiling face, I still feel the drive and ambition to do well for myself to feel the contentment that somewhere he is still smiling because I am making him proud.

Lessons learned from your absence in my life will still materialize in years to come. Your friendship has forever changed me. I knew the second we spoke we were meant to be friends.  I didn’t know it at the time…but the day I met you, you changed my life. Hard times bonded us, and we can’t control the future. But, we always knew our story would always have the greatest ending, we found each other. I have a lot of dreams wrapped up in you, so when we see each other again, I know you will have kept your word. I hope my Grandma is taking great care of you in heaven. You entered my life just as she left, and she (and I) are forever grateful you saved my life—through my faith in myself, in God and just humanity.

Life is beautiful, terrible and perfect. Nothing is promised so, live for today. Tell those you love that you love. Don’t hold back. Nothing lasts forever. So, the one thing I know you can do to honour Ryan is this—just be happy. There’s one thing I know you can definitely do today… and that’s live, and be happy.

As the seeds of grief spread and sprout, find your happiness. Don’t stay trapped in the dark. Ryan would want you to be happy. In the darkness of grief, I always look to the same words of Winnie The Pooh to comfort me & bring me back to the light.

If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together.. there is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. but the most important thing is, even if we’re apart.. i’ll always be with you.

Always Love,



God Doesn’t Make Mistakes

Some say dreams are just dreams

But this is the place of my dreams

We see pain and death as ultimate evils

Then question:

How good is a God that does such evil to the good?

Is the God the ultimate betrayer?

What we see is an incomplete picture of reality.

You can’t make sense of this world.

God can.

Our flaw is we don’t have enough faith in his goodness.

We don’t trust the process of life is dictated by good.

We feel earthly pains because we can’t see beyond ourselves

God does not justify human tragedy

He redeems

Your love marked me

I am forever a better person

I miss you every moment of every day

But God doesn’t make mistakes

I know there was something better waiting for you

Times Embrace On Life

Life is complicated.


And beautiful.

The hardest lesson to learn.

To truly grasp.

Times embrace in this life.

Nothing lasts forever.

Things change so quickly.

One moment we are saying hello.

The next our eternal goodbye.

These things can’t be explained to be understood.

They have to be experienced.

The hardest part of saying goodbye.

Is having to do it again every single day.

Every day we face the same truth.

Life is fleeting.

That our time here is short.

To honour the fallen.

We must live our own lives well.

We must take the high road when we can.

And allow common loss to bring us together.

When we leave this world.

Our life is measured and defined by those we chose to love.

We shouldn’t be sad each day with our goodbyes.

Remember how lucky you were to have known someone so special.

That makes saying goodbye so hard.


About Maison Moonchild

A Canadian gal that firmly believes words can change the world. An avid reader, writer and Halloween enthusiast. She has a special interest in communications and writes for pleasure and profession. She moonlights as a metaphysical maven with a knack for creating magical crystal jewelry and holiday accessories.
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1 Response to Ryan

  1. Pingback: Happy Birthday Ryan! | LITTLE MISS TRAINWRECK

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