I opened the doors to the rush of rain.

And darkness.

Out of the comfort of the one place I ever felt wanted.

I left into the cold wet night.

I ignored the cries calling my name.

I was no longer here.

I was already gone.

I wanted to be cold.

I wanted to be wet.

Nameless.

The rain pounded me like a hundred fists.

The pain felt good.

I wished it were a tidal wave.

A tsunami.

A hurricane.

Something that would destroy everything and carry me away.

Away to a place where I didn’t exist.

A place where I never existed.