I love leggings, and I love bold designs. I have been dreaming of Black Milk forever, but have never mustered up the guts to complete a purchase. Finally! The Lord of the Rings and Hobbit lines launched yesterday, January 22nd and I could not refuse!
I am now eagerly awaiting the shipment of my precioussssssss clothes. I chose The Witch King leggings. and The Last Judgement Dress.
I loved the confirmation email, check it out:
Congratulations – you bought something on the internet!
Which means that in some small way you have contributed to the internet taking over our lives. Which means that the real world is rapidly fading away. Which means that the machines are taking over… which means… pretty soon we all get to live in the matrix – AWESOME!!!!
(I’m joking – everyone knows that we actually already do live in the Matrix).
Anyway, the name of this collection is “Stories That Stay With You”.
You see, Black Milk is all about stories. Some scary, some funny, but always interesting. There is MY story (about someone who fell in love with tight, stretchy clothing and decided to start the coolest fashion label in the world), YOUR story (about a hot little boss who wanted to look totally awesome in her tight stretchy clothing), OUR story (how hot little bosses from all over the world came together to create something really unique and special), and then each piece has it’s own unique story – depending on where you wear it, and what you do while wearing them. 🙂
And there is one more story I forgot to tell you. Do you want to hear it? Ah, I see that you do! Well, youngling, come come, grab a chair and a cup of coffee and prepare for the epic tale that is … My Unexpected Spandex Journey.
Many years ago, I was sitting around my house on the Shire, enjoying a bit of Longbottom Leaf, and a long glass of Ent-Draught. It was then that I heard a knock on my door. I made my way to my circular shaped front door and cautiously opened it… it was a seriously stylish girl. She strode into my house before I could utter a word! Pretty soon, there was another knock at the door – another awesome girl. And another, then another, then still another. Pretty soon I was completely surrounded by amazing stylish women! So yeah, pretty much situation normal.
However, it was at that moment that the stylish babes told me the true nature of their visit. Their lands had been taken over by a hideous dragon who wouldn’t let the stylish babes get to their post boxes to get their shiny black packages! They wanted me to make them some awesome outfits so that they could take their lands back. How could I refuse?
I stayed up all night sewing away – black catsuits so that they could hide in the shadows at night, camo leggings so that they could blend in with the trees, and mermaid leggings so that they could… be mermaids. When it was all done, the hot little bosses pulled on their shiny nylons, put on awesome shoes (not very practical, but if you’re going dragon hunting, you want to do it in style) and began their epic adventure.
Along the way we encountered many strange creatures – orcs, goblins, internet trolls. We even ran into the creature Cam – who still smelt of fish.
Anyhoo – we eventually got to our destination where we found the dragon…. and you know what happened next? Well … do you?
Of course not! But unfortunately the end of our tale will have to wait for our next collection (Ooooh…. suspense). 🙂
In the meantime, you have my permission to dress up outrageously, wear incredible shoes, and roll around on your bed wearing nothing but tight stretchy Black Milk. You might feel a little weird at first, but you can know that all over the world, awesome girls are acting out their nylon addictions in equally bizarre ways. So go for it. Strength in numbers.
Okay, now we have to go through some practical stuff – THERE MAY BE A WAIT ON YOUR ORDER!
It sucks I know. You see, the problem is that you are not the only AWESOME person out there who had the brilliance and the ninja skills to buy something from our big release. As result, the Black Milk packing team is working like crazy to get your stuff to you…but they might have to get lots of other stuff to other people first. That is because on a Black Milk release day – things go CRAAAAAZY!
But I promise we’ll get your stuff out to you as soon as possible. 🙂
At the bottom of this email are all your deets – what you bought, who you are and where your shiny nylon goodness is going. If anything looks hinky, you have two hours to reply to this email and our Mega Hotties will do their very best to put it right.